While I was about half way through a masters program, I received a letter from the President of the United States asking (OK telling) me to help him out on a little foreign policy problem. He graciously allowed me to finish out the semester. In the interim, I decided to see if I could cut a better deal than slogging through the mud. The Air Force was willing to make me an Officer and a Gentleman and a pilot so I signed up.

The first stop was Lackland AFB for Officer's Training School. A fun-in-the-sun summer in Texas. They even gave me a whole weekend off once in my tour. The highlight of my OTS experience was getting the measles the last few weeks of the session.

From Lackland, I went to Columbus AFB in Mississippi for undergraduate pilot training (UPT). Pilot training lasts about a year (possibly more for future B-52 pilots). First we flew T-41 trainers (Cessna 172s) for six weeks. This was to get rid of the hopelessly airsick candidates without smelling up the expensive planes. If you washed out in this phase you went to be a supply officer or a missile office. If you made it through this phase, but washed out later, you might end up in navigator school - a fate worse than death!

We flew the T-37 for about 5 months. This plane was nicknamed the tweety bird because it had a high pitched scream that would kill your hearing in minutes if you didn't wear your bunny ears. This is a jet aircraft, but performed more like a private aircraft - you could spin one and it will recover itself if you let go of the controls. The seats on this plane were side-by-side so the instructor pilots could slap us around if we fouled up.

These pictures are Columbus AFB T-38s.

and this is what I look like while flying. Note that the standard issue aviator sunglasses are not needed while flying.

The T-38 was a high performance jet. This plane was fun to fly, and was a challenge. If flew supersonic and I'm sure we shook up a few gaters in the bayous. We flew T-38s for 6 months. While in UPT, I was nicknamed Torch. I smoked incessantly at the time. I think the cloud of smoke over my desk (in those days smoking was allowed everywhere) might have been part of the reason for that nickname.

During the whole year of pilot training we had classes half a day and flew the other half the day. We were graded on both Academic work and flying evaluations. At the end of the training program, the whole class was ranked based on a composite score. We were also rated as whether we were qualified for an aircraft commander assignment (or had to fly as a copilot) and instructor pilot. A list of aircraft assignments came down that ideally was the same size as the class. Each class member ranked the assignments they wanted. The top pilot except for FANGs (F****** Air National Guard) and foreign pilots generally got their first choice, then the next … Some times you don't get your choice if your instructor did not rate you qualified for that assignment. You also might not get a choice if no one below you was qualified for remaining aircraft - this is how all the instructor pilot assignments were allocated. The top planes selected were the fighters (lunatics) and air transports (future airline pilots). The last planes were always B-52s. I got the last fighter slot in my class, an F-106 - I must have been the worst of the best!

The folks in ADC didn't trust us to fly fighters right away. They had to see if we were trained correctly in UPT. We flew T-33s first.

Air defense command used T-33s as targets and each squadron had a couple T-33s and a B-57 (another target).

The F106 is a Century Series, Single Seat, Single Engine, Air Defense Interceptor.

Century Series fighters is a group of fighters (F100 - F107) that were designed and built in the 50s. These planes were the United States first supersonic fighters and represent tremendous technological advances. The Air Force contractors were able to start manufacturing a new fighter model every other year (costing a couple million bucks each). These were before the days of Scientific Management and Systems Analysis. Now it takes 20 years to develop a new fighter that costs a quarter billion dollars each. One of the planes I flew had a plaque in it stating that on a certain date Chuck Yeager broke the air speed record. I think that record lasted a day and a half!

Single seat fighters are ideal for those that do not need lots of human interaction (I am well suited in this regards). Once in the air, you are completely alone! This makes changing radio channel while flying formation through crummy weather a joy indeed! Who needs a radio anyway!

The F106 had one engine. Many other fighters (notably the F4) were dual engines. Sharing an air base with F4s meant frequent F4 emergencies for engine failures. We never had engine problems, if we lose an engine, we walk (or swim) home!

The F106 was an Air defense interceptor. This plane was designed to shoot down Soviet bombers who were trying to drop atom bombs on US cities. It was armed with a large nuclear rocket (see above, one wants to be moving as fast as possible the other direction after shooting one of these), 4 guided missiles and the last weapon was the aircraft itself (where were you going to land anyway). This plane was so successful that shortly after they were manufactured (1956-58) the Soviets gave up on bombers and concentrated on ICBMs. We kept flying them because once the military takes on a mission, it is very reluctant to stop that mission despite whatever facts might be available. Later the Air Force swapped the rocket for a gattling gun. All weapons were internal making the aircraft very clean.

Air Defense Command (ADC) was very different than the other Air Force Commands. ADC had one air base (Tyndall AFB), a lot of remote radar sites and a cave in Colorado. All the fighter units were organized into independent squadrons and dispersed around the periphery of the US (most in the northern tier). We were located on bases belonging to other commands and they tried to ignore the fact that we were there.

I spent another six months training on the F106 at Tyndall AFB Florida. By the time I was done with the training (including survival schools), I'd been in the Air Force for two years. There were three other pilots (not counting FANGs) in my F106 training class. We allocated assignments much more scientifically than at UPT - we flipped coins. I ended up at Langley AFB, VA in the 48^th Fighter Interceptor Squadron (FIS). Believe it or not, I had the last choice - go figure.

Langley AFB was Tactical Air Command (TAC) headquarters. At Langley, Colonels had to go get coffee, Lieutenants were scum of the earth. We were in Air Defense Command (ADC) and ignored the brass. Whenever the generals tried to harass us, we called a couple all night training exercises (when you light the afterburner on an F106, it sounds like a bomb going off). They were annoyed that the only fighters on the base were not theirs. We made a point of wearing out international orange flight suits in the Officer's Club (so we could be seen if we bail out over the North Pole). They wore the standard green flight suits (so they wouldn't be seen if they bail out in Southeast Asia).

A couple F-106s in each squadron were "B" models. These had two seat and were mostly used for training and check rides.

We had satellite bases in Wilmington, NC, and Homestead AFB, FL. We occasionally went to Wilmington for pizza, but put most of our off base time in Florida. In the 60s, a Cuban pilot defected with his plane. He was able to land his Mig at Homestead AFB without anyone knowing anything until he asked where to park the plane. After that, we opened our alert facility at Homestead and were on continuous alert. We were at Homestead about a third of the time. Homestead AFB was a TAC, F4 training base. We made a point of making sure the TAC wienies knew we were on duty protecting them from the Cubans, which they so obviously needed! Most of the time we chased smugglers.

Every fighter pilot in ADC pulls alert. For most of the command, alert is a time to read, watch TV, and generally get some rest and relaxation. Minot ND does not have a smuggling problem and despite what you see on TV, they don't get UFOs every day. Alert in Florida is a different matter. Any number of drug smugglers are trying to sneak in and one of them could be a Cuban defector trying to embarrass us. We'd average a scramble a day. Many times we'd get two or three. Most scrambles were after dark - usually 2:00AM with a full bladder!

At Homestead, we brought in 6 airplanes and 6 pilots each week. We rotated a day on 5 minute alert, a day on 15 minute alert and an off day.

On 5 minute alert we had to be at the alert shack and couldn't leave the area.

On 15 minute alert, we had to stay on base. We had some other privileges - we had a car with flashing lights, and a portable radio set. Whenever the 5 minute people scrambled, we had to get to the alert shack and take their place until they were back and their planes serviced. We could go anywhere on base in our flight suits - including the O-Club dining room (coat and tie required). In fact, anytime I wanted to go to the O-Club dining room, I'd put on a flight suit, grab a radio and go. Actually, the only reason any of us wanted to go to the O-Club dining room was because we could get flaunt the normal rules. Even the TAC Captains and Lieutenants avoided the O-Club dining room (except Sunday morning which is a different story).

Radar intercepts was the F106's emphasis, both high and low altitude. Low altitude was much more fun because you had to pick the target out from the ground clutter while flying the airplane. We also did air combat training (ACT). In the 48^th, I was nicknamed Zoom. A popular tactic in a 1 on 1 ACT head on pass is to pull the airplane into a vertical climb (zoom). If the other guy makes a horizontal turn, you can rotate, and pull the plane over behind him. It gets exciting when both planes zoom. Then, whoever chickens out loses. Once, I was determined not to chicken out. Unfortunately, I ran out of air speed and the plane mushed around and finally fell over. I was lucky I didn't spin. From then on, I was called Zoom in the squadron.

A famous F106 is in the USAF museum. This plane was in a spin. The pilot ejected. The recoil of the ejection pushed the nose down and the plane flew itself out of the spin. It then landed itself (without a pilot) in a field. The plane only received minor damage.

ACT uses fuel at a tremendous rate. Normally, the F106 has long legs. A typical intercept training mission lasts two hours. In full afterburner, we can burn a tank of gas in 15 minutes. One guy was on an ACT training mission over the Atlantic and didn't have enough gas to get back to base. He bailed out in the drink.

Our tour of duty in Florida was not without controversy. Our squadron was on the East Coast. Another was on the west coast. The remaining ADC squadrons were on the northern tier of states - North Dakota, Montana, upper Michigan, etc. These folks thought that we should rotate the Homestead assignment - particularly in winter. Finally this happened and squadrons from the arctic circle were sending their planes and crews to Florida. One of the first times they scrambled to chase an after dark, lights-out drug smuggler, one of their pilots flew his plane into the drink at 250 knots. That was the only fatality associated with ADC operations at Homestead while I was there.

I was in the service during the fuel shortage of the early 70s. Someone had the bright idea that we can leave the planes in Florida and the pilots can rotate using commercial flights. So every Monday morning, four of us would show up at the United counter with our parachutes - "No we don't want to check the parachutes, we'll wear them!"

Nixon was President during most of my tour of duty. Whenever Nixon went to Key Biscayne (at least once a month), Air Force One flew into Homestead. They also closed every airport within a hundred miles of Miami. I'm sure a major fear was that the Cuban would launch their surprise attack on Florida while we were grounded because of Nixon. We got around that by launching our alert planes a half-hour before he landed, orbiting halfway between Florida and Cuba until he was safely on the ground. We'd do the same thing when he left. That was about the only time we flew during the day there.

Once, Homestead was undergoing major runway construction. While this was happening, the runway was shorter than the F106 minimum. We had a contest to see who could stop the plane in the shortest distance. Techniques we used were to pop the drag chute a early, land as close to the beginning of the runway as possible, and land as slow as possible. I would have won the contest, but was disqualified because I blew both sets of tires.

Many weekends, we would arrange navigation training missions. Nellis AFB (Las Vegas) was always a popular place to show up Friday or Saturday night. One weekend, I was scheduled to fly with a flight of four to Nellis - picking up gas at a tanker over West Virginia. Come back Sunday picking up gas from a FANG outfit in New Mexico, drop by Tyndall to pick up some spare parts (our version of Federal Express). Return to Virginia Monday morning. Two of the birds had maintenance problems at Langley and we left them behind. We got to Nellis and the other plane broke there. I left Nellis for Tyndall and our flight of four was supposed to rendezvous with a KC-97. When I got there, there were 4 KC-97s each wanted to get rid of gas and 1 F106 - me. Fighter pilots didn't like KC-97s. KC-97s are propeller tankers (converted B-29s) that when going at their top speed is slightly above the stall speed for an F106. This adds that extra thrill to getting gas. So I wallowed around each of the four tankers. Getting a couple thousand pounds of fuel from the first three, then topping off with the last. That was a long flight and my rear end was numb for a week.

The front windscreen on an F106 is about an inch thick. It consists of 2 panes of glass that sandwich heating wires. One warm summer day I was flying from Langley to Tyndall. About halfway through the flight, my generator failed. An F106 can fly fine without a generator and it was so clear out. I could see a couple states from 41,000 feet altitude, so I decided to continue to Tyndall. The battery is supposed to power the radio, but it didn't work. I could hear but not talk (I didn't have much to say anyway). The temperature at that altitude is -55 degrees and the inch of glass had a long time to cool off. As I was lining up with the runway at Tyndall, the windscreen frosted over except for a 1 inch strip along the bottom. I landed by looking out the side windows and scrunching down trying to see forward.

Had the Airforce been enforcing the adultery rules in those days, we could not have put all our airplanes in the air at the same time. About half the pilots had a wife in Virginia and a honey in Florida. I was single at the time! When I met my honey in Virginia, all the fun went out of spending half my time away from home base.

 Air Force glossary

Angels - altitude in 1000 feet

Auger in - try to use aircraft at excavate a hole in the ground

Bingo - minimum fuel left for safe return to base

Blivit - the rocket we sometimes carry

Brown bar - Second Lieutenant

BUFF - Big Ugly Flying F*****, AKA B52

Bug Smasher - private aircraft

Cattle Car - commercial airliner

FANG - F****** Air National Guard

Feet dry - over land

Feet wet - over water

Figmo - F*** it I got my orders - the attitude people get before they move to another assignment

Fox-1 or Fox-2 - If this had been a real missile you'd be swimming home now

G - the measurement of the force of gravity. A 2 G turn (the minimum for a fighter) made you weigh twice normal

George - auto-pilot, let George fly - turn on auto-pilot

Grunt - Army or Marine

Kick the Tires - preflight an airplane - I actually kicked the tires

Knot - nautical mile. 1 degree (north south) = 60 nautical miles, ~ 15% longer than statute mile

Mach - speed of sound. Airspeed measured in Mach. Mach 1 ~ 600 knots

Paint - see on radar

Pond - ocean, flying to England is called flying across the pond

Splash - go from feet wet to wet all over

Swabie - Navy

Tally - see something - as in "Do you see the UFO over there?", "Tally" (yes)

Trash hauler - air transport plane

Wienie - anyone in a different command, different unit, or just different

Zoom - vertical climb

Zoomie - AF Academy graduate